The Days of Being Wild
In the third semester of college, I had a fight with one of my roommates. I had lost my father in the second semester of college. It was a hard time for me and my family. The only thing that I had with me at that time were my friends. It may sound cringe, but the truth is, I needed to forget it all. I never wanted my friends to feel sympathy towards me. At that age, and especially in my 3rd semester, to avoid my gloom, I started acting weirdly. More like a cracked guy at times.
By doing so, no one would feel sympathy towards me right? On the other hand, they would get irritated at me or would see me as funny and laugh with me right? - This was the kind of justification I told myself. Thinking about it now makes me laugh so hard and embarrassed. Ha! But why am I writing this now? There’s a reason for it.
At the end of 3rd semester, one of my roommates took advantage of me. In that sense, he showed his superiority towards me. I don’t know why he did it. And I can tell the difference between a friend who trolls you and a friend who shows you how powerful he is (not physically but also mentally). And I would bet on my life that he showcased the latter behaviour. And realising that, it triggered me and I started blasting my mind off.
It was an ugly fight. I had a fight in my 8th grade before.
When I think about it now, the reason for the fight is neither me nor my friend. Well, it’s his fault but I realised something else too. I was not stable at that time. When I realised that he was taking advantage of my funny side, I felt like crying. But thinking about crying furiated me on so many levels and that angered me a lot. I had lost it because of that.
The same kind of scenario had happened in my 5th and 7th semester. But in the other two cases, I was stable but I wanted to have the fight and I had it. One time, I wanted to scold a senior civil guy and I waited for him to say a bad word and I started to swear at him badly till my anger settled. The other time, some guy in my room stole my money and I made sure that he knew his place. These were the moments where I got angry with the people that were not my friends and I was calm inside even though I was shouting outside (unlike the event that happened in my 3rd semester).
When I went to Bangalore to search houses, my mind was not at all stable. I projected it in a calmer way but inside I was having a lot of dilemma regarding that matter. So, to cool it off, me and Uzumaki went to Wonderla on the first day (It was a sunday). For the next two days, we just did our work and nothing else.
On Wednesday, NSK and Womaniser joined us. After that, I started searching for homes with NSK. But I wasn't able to find a single home that satisfied me. I nearly checked 15+ houses in 3 days. Suddenly it was Thursday and I was supposed to hand over my laptop to IBM the next day.
And in the evening, I had a fight with NSK.
On the outside, it was normal friends trolling each other and laughing about it. But I was not in my right mind that day and vented all my anger out that day. But I controlled it somehow and wanted to be alone for a few hours. But things happened so fast and I lost it once again.
It was one of the worst nights of my life. I wasn't able to sleep and I wasn't even able to jerk off. I was engulfed in rage and by some miracle I controlled my fists. Even in my previous fights, I never used my fists. I would shout and even push the other guys hard but during that night, I felt a sudden urge to punch in the face of my three friends. Shouting at them didn’t vent out all of my anger.
The next day, I just faced them and behaved like nothing ever happened. And it became normal soon. Well, we are friends and that would’ve happened anyway but I still regret the way I behaved that night. I wasn't able to return my laptop to the IBM office as Actor Punith Rajkumar died that day. I informed my manager in IBM and he asked me to send the lap via courier. So, we even planned to return to our home Quickly.
But I haven’t decided on any houses yet. I liked only one out of 15+ houses I had checked. And even that house is situated too far from the main area. With no hope, I continued my search on Saturday morning. Now I didn’t want to disturb NSK or any other people. So, I went and searched on my own. I looked at 2 houses and they were too disturbing to even look at. Whatever hope I had had already vanished by then.
Then.
Finally!
I cycled through rough terrains and small roads and found a house. It was an apartment. It had 5 floors and a terrace. On the terrace, there were 2 houses. On seeing the house, I instantly decided to live there. I video called my mom and showed the house to her. She also liked it and we both finally confirmed it. I paid half of the advance and booked the house. We planned to shift there next Saturday (Because on Tuesday I had my Infosys Induction).
The only problem was the location of the house. When I reached the house, the path I had used to reach the house was too rough. So, I was worried. Then when I saw the bridge from the terrace of the house, it hit me. The apartment was near the main road and I had to take a different route to reach the house.
And to my surprise, the house was located only 100 meters away from the hotel that we had stayed at!
In contrast with the previous Evening, we had a wonderful evening on Saturday. We chatted and enjoyed our time one last time. Because it won't happen ever again anymore. On Sunday morning, we packed our bags and started travelling towards Tamil Nadu.
Farewell, IBM!
I planned to return my laptop after shifting to the new house.
And on November 6, 2021 - on a cloudy yet chilly Saturday, we shifted from Tamil Nadu to Bangalore, Karnataka.
And After setting down on Sunday, on Monday I went to IBM one last time, to return my laptop.
It was an emotional moment.
IBM has given me a lot of new things. I had never thought I would be a part of the rat race. I always wanted to explore my passion. I wanted to be a screenwriter, a director of some sorts. And when I think about it, I am not talented enough to pull it off.
But in the case of IT, I hate it.
I still hate it.
So, why do I love IBM? Well, I hate being a part of the rat race for sure. But I enjoy its perks.
I enjoy the Saturday and Sunday leaves, (also the sick leaves)
I enjoy getting a salary,
I enjoy buying books with my own money,
I enjoy falling in love with a girl, even if its a one-sided love story (I liked Simping da fuckers. Not anymore though)
I enjoy the moments that I had shared with Chettan. I know IBM is the reason for it somehow.
And most of all, I enjoyed the time I spent in the night (walking in the road with my friends, with my girlfriend and sometimes alone). I just loved it.
I returned the laptop and clicked a few selfies there inside the campus.
…
It’s the 3rd week of November. One more month to go for the end of 2021. I am not going to write anything in December. As I am writing this post, I got assigned to a project at Infosys. Actually, it’s only been two weeks since I joined Infosys and all of sudden, I have been assigned as a developer for a project which involved Spring Boot and AWS.
And this marks the end of my Last Days of IBM write up.I hope to start a new write up series next year.
Until next time, Farewell IBM!
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