Boy-Girl Group makes me sick!

Talking to girls is one thing but grouping with girls is another thing. I hate grouping with girls. I have experienced a lot before and whenever this happens – Its cringey – EVERYTIME!!!

I even tried to be a part of this boys’ and girls’ gang. The first time was in the second semester of our college. It was a group of boys’ and girls’ where the boys protect the girls. 

They are the FIREWALLS and I was a FIREWALL on those days. But being a firewall means you must call the girls in that gang as sisters. I can’t call a girl sister when I am dreaming wet dreams about her.

 Ahnn??!?!?!?! 

Well I am not sure if that’s a bad behavior or a good behavior. Is it misogynistic? Or is it being human? But I am sure it’s ME! Its how I am inside. It’ll never go away. I’ll never call a girl of my age as sister. Basically, I am a horny guy and I came to the realization that it’s not my kind of place. So, I resigned myself from the FIREWALL.  

**End of Chapter 1**

The second time was during my college placements. It was a gang where girls didn’t want to have any brothers. It’s in the final year of my college and I became lean and all. My beard and mustache had grown thicker and the fat in my butt and thighs got reduced hugely. 

So, I developed a confidence on my physical appearance and started flirting with the girls. It was 1 year after my break-up. This time, I didn’t want to love a girl. But I wanted to have a lot of friends who are girls. And I even got a friend where I didn’t feel any feeling towards her.  (What the fuck was I thinking?!?! Chaii!!!)

She is a beautiful girl and Of course, I got attracted to her. And there was another girl who always scolds me and calls me by the nick name she gave me. And there was another girl who breaks adult jokes and we would have a great laugh. I got comfortable in talking to girls. 

Days gone by and I started to feel like someone else. I realised it during a boys’ and girls’ trip to another college where we attended the TCS Campus Drive. At the end of the trip, I started to break cringe jokes. I still remember the feeling. It’s goes like this – When a girl says something, I just stare at her and say something (not even a joke) in a comic voice. If she giggles, then it’s a success. Something inside me would scream at me to shut my mouth. But the giggle is the dopamine. 

Another thing I did was cracking the “Victim jokes”. Victim joke is a speciality of mine during those days. As I was a shy guy in my school days, its easy for me imitate like that. Sometimes, I do that on purpose and sometimes, it comes out naturally. Something inside me would scream at me to stop acting like that. Some girls would call it cute. Oh! The feels that I had at those times. I would’ve easily gotten the cringe star of the year award. And slowly I started becoming the guy I hated the most. The guys who are cute and innocent. I had acted like this to a girl that I had fallen in the second year of my college, on a February.

ON A FUCKINGGG FEBRUARY!!! I even proposed her, and she accepted it. Then with time, she came to know my character well. She realized that I was not the cute and innocent guy who I had projected myself to her as. 

Coming back to my final year – During this double standard state or hypocritical state, I started to spend a lot of time with this one girl in my college. As usual I cracked cringey jokes at her. But this time I know that it was weird and cringey. Somehow, I controlled myself to crack jokes like that. But I couldn’t able to control to act as the cute and innocent guy. As a result, my classmates started to spread gossip about us. It felt like déjà vu. I was just recreating my first love story. I slowly started moving away from the girl. In the sense that I gradually stopped spending time with her.

And then I stopped talking to the girl. 

**End of Chapter 2**

Boy-Girl group is a good thing, and everyone should experience it. But not like the one I was experiencing. I am feeling this way because of the way I am, maybe. But the story didn’t end there. After joining the office, I have been a member of a lot of boy-girl group. I am now used to talk to girls without any shy. Sometimes, I feel shy to talk to a girl. It happens time to time but I try not to show it in an obvious way.

I had fallen in love once again. This time, it was not a boy-girl group love, not a cute and innocent projection love and not a cringey love. But it’s a one-side love. And as usual, she rejected my proposal and I got over with her on a February

ON A FUCKKING FEBRUARYYYYYYYYYYYY

**End of Chapter 3**