“I kind of see love as this, it’s an escape for two people who don’t know how to be alone. People always talk about how love is this totally unselfish, but if you think about it, there’s nothing more selfish than love.”
Before Trilogy is AWESOME!!
We all have fallen in love in our teenage. Be it a one side love or a double side love (or being committed). All the same, we have fallen in love.
I remember my first love story. Like the movie Premam, I too had 3 stages of love story. In school, I had a crush in a girl who sat besides me. In college, I had an infatuation (which I thought was love) which lasted for like 3 months but to get over it, it took nearly a year even though it’s a fucking infatuation. The problem is I didn’t realize till I got over her and in fact, realizing the relationship we both had towards each other were just infatuation was the point that made me finally came out of it. And finally, now in my office, I had a crush on a girl, which turned out to be an infatuation and finally falling in love with her. But unfortunately, it turned out to be a one-sided love.
The whole point of writing briefly about all these is not to prove anything or trying to rant out or anything like that. It’s simply to say that I have fallen in love three times in my life so far. (Be it a crush or infatuation or any other thing)
My friends had fallen in love and did crazy things and so did I.
So why we fall in love so many times?
Is it to find a partner to whom you can share the rest of your life with?
And why when we fall for a girl/boy each time, we think he/she is the one?
Or is it just a casual fling just to experience the sexual tension towards your girlfriend/boyfriend?
Is the notion of finding the right one true or just nothing but a romantic element used in movies?
And basically…
Does true love exist?
Let me try to discuss this in this post. And, the impact I had after watching Before Trilogy which nearly answered all the questions to me.
So, what’s this movie about?
There are three movies in this franchise. Before Sunrise, Before Sunset and Before Midnight.
Each movie takes place in the interval of 9 years in the life of two people – Jesse (played by Ethan Hawke) and Celine (played by Julie Delpy).
There’s a famous saying (actually, it’s a dialogue from the movie When Harry Met Sally…) and it goes like this…
“Men and Women can’t be friends because the sex part always gets in the way”
This may seem like a westernized idea, but the sex part doesn’t have to involve doing sex. If a boy and a girl feel a strong physical attraction towards each other, then that too rule of the possibility of friendship.
And it’s not like I see a girl, gets attracted to her means thinking of having sex with her. Well it’s not wrong to think that way but if we are thinking it more often, then we are just feeling horny (and it’s not a bad thing though until it starts feeling creepy) and that’s not what I am trying to discuss here. I am trying to say that even discussing a topic which both boy and the girl are interested on can even turn on him/her. If you think “turn on” to be a bad way to put it, then let’s just say that you feel a sudden urge to talk to her or to get to know about her. Something like that.
So, the myth I am trying to bust here is love is a natural feeling and there’s nothing pure about it. If you see a man/woman doing a social service and makes you turn on… Ahem… makes you to talk to her/him, that’s totally fine but there’s nothing pure about it.
Jesse and Celine see each other while traveling in a train. They get attracted to each other. No Drama, no signs of Cupid, just like that. After that, they just started talking to each other. They leave the train and they just talk. They stop talking before the sunrise of the next day. They make love the night before and they were kissing like crazy and they just leave each other by promising to meet at the same place at the same time after 6 months.
Its time to break another myth: Sex or Kissing is not bad. It just shows how much love they have with each other.
The problematic part on breaking this myth is, well, this can be used as a cover for people who just want sex. Wanting sex with consent is a different thing. I too have criticisms on that topic but masking yourself under the banner of love and just trying to cheat a person to have sex is a disgusting thing to do. And that’s why Celine never wants to think that they made love that night (she gets triggered thinking about it in the second movie).
In a country like India, the masking part is a tactic used by a lot of people (and thus producing a lot of mms scandals) and the myth I am trying to break becomes a taboo.
After 9 years, Jesse meets Celine once again in France on one of his book tours (the book he wrote based on the happenings of Jesse and Celine 9 years ago). Jesse is married and has kids and Celine is dating a guy. After they met, they ask about each other and they started talking. It’s not the kind of talk which involves அப்றம்... நீ சொல்லு… நீ ஃபோன வை… அம்மு… பேபி… செல்லம்… cringe.
They both talk about politics, communism, feminism, and even cheesy things. The fantastic part is that even if they don’t talk with each other, (like listening to song for 3 minutes without speaking or the scene in the church) just gives the emotions they share with each other.
They talk and talk and finally stop talking before the sunset of the day. The second movie ends there. They basically have fallen for each other once again and this time very hard. They basically have fallen in love many times in the last 9 years and Jesse even got married. So, it’s not bad to love someone even if its for a year, or even if its for a month or even so if its for a single day. But the only glitch you have to avoid is to pretend to be someone you don’t. You are not trying to do an elevator pitch here.
If you think that all the love ends in failure and so loving someone is a waste of time is like saying all our lives ends in death and so living life is waste of time. Being yourself is the best way to impress your partner. And there we go; we busted another myth: Its okay to love any number of times unless you want to pretend to be someone else and unless you just want to mask yourself under the hood of love and trying to do something else.
Jesse: “You know what’s the worst thing about somebody breaking up with you? It’s when you remember how little you thought about the people you broke up with and you realize that is how little they’re thinking of you. You know, you’d like to think you’re both in all this pain but they’re just like “Hey, I’m glad you’re gone”.
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