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Summer Vacations 2020 - Part I : Vanilla and Cringe Sex


April was nice. I had planned to watch a lot of movies. By the end of Twilight, I even made a list of Vampire movies to watch. I watched two movie Franchises after reading Twilight.

Twilight and Blade. Well, only one vampire franchise other than Twilight. I donno why. I just didn’t feel like watching any movies. I tried watching movies from regional languages of South India one week and tried watching some black and white films the next week. But none of the movies excited me.

There was a time when April and May used to be the Months of Movies.

It’s the Summer Vacation for crying out loud. This time last year, I had finished my college and enjoyed my VIP days peacefully. Being an IT guy, hereafter, I won’t get the so-called Summer Vacation ever in my life.

I reverted myself back to reading books. In February, I had bought two book series from online. One was Twilight. I hated reading Twilight, except for the first book. But Twilight was the first book series I have ever read. It still had its moments and memories I cherish. But I hated the feel the triangle love story part of Twilight gave me.

The second book series I bought was the Fifty shades series. I know it’s yet another Virgin love story, but I donno what else to do and it was only the first week of April.


I used to plan movies-that-I-want-to-watch on the first week of April month every year. That’s how I got introduced to Quentin Tarantino and even Gasper Noe. The planning part would be more fun than the actual watching part sometimes.

On those days, internet was not an affordable commodity for us. So, the best way to watch movies is to befriend a guy working in a DVD Shop. Fortunately, I made friends with the DVD store’s owner.

He usually sells DVD at 30 Rupees. But I would buy a lot of DVDs with 20 Rupees per DVD.

I watched all the movie franchise in this way. Notably the Die Hard and Nightmare on Elm series.

Back to the present

I had some great insomniac nights of Joy on every April and May. Unfortunately, this April, I had insomniac nights of solitude.

Solitude was also nice. At first, it felt too good. Being a loner and no one to interrupt your madness is something else. But as the days go on, it started boring. Mainly, in my case, it was because of my awfully dull job and my lack of interest on movies or anything entertaining.

A one side love failure guy is the best definition of numbness. I just wanted to distract myself from all these boring stuffs and just like that I started reading Fifty shades.

“Fifty shades of Grey” was a good book. I hadn’t read any erotica genre books in English. The erotica in my language Tamil won’t get me a hard on or anything. I used to read erotica in my school days, but they were all B grade stuff. You can’t even do a decent fap reading those crap. But “fifty shades” was something else.

Sex, sex, sex and then Sex


Nearly 20 chapters out of all 25 chapters in that book had sex scenes. Fuck scenes would be right words to say. Oral sex scenes were way too gross and some sex scenes creeped me out. Notably, the vagina ball scene was super cringy to read. It was like reading a Japanese hentai. The end of the book was good and at the end I hated Christian Grey.

#RANT STARTS

The motherfucker has so much stamina. He literally has sex consecutively after every time he climaxes. I mean, is it even possible. Or is it me the only one who has less stamina.

I can’t even fap twice now-a-days. It became more like twice a week. NOOO! 

There was one scene where the Kandaroli Grey makes Ana to taste her own blood from her Vagina during sex (The infamous my sex as told by Ana) and talks shit about vanilla.

Usually, I try to empathize with the male characters of novels and when I do that with Christian, the misogynist part of me winks at me.

That is precisely where I started to hate Christian. And I never stopped.


#RANT ENDS

When I think about Anastasia Steele, I couldn’t able to understand her.

This was a story written in Ana’s POV and I still fucking didn’t get what she was thinking. I don’t want to sound like a saviour of Ana from the Christian Monster but let me say this. Christian is a not an adult whose mind was trapped in a teenage boy’s mind. If he is really a teenage baby who was acting tough, then that itself is a good reason for me to hate him (IMO Only). It’s what I call Super Cringe. BTW, sometimes seeing Christian’s temperament acts as a catalyst for Female saving misogynists. Later, in the novel, his vulnerability didn’t meant shit to me.

Its basically how Ana handles Christian. The author has written another book series from Christian’s perspective.

But seriously, Ana resembled a lot like Bella from The Twilight Saga. These female characters are book nerds and their love towards their boyfriends were so cliché.

Watching Dakota Johnson was sexier, and I missed noticing the character of Ana in the movie. But Ana’s character described in the book was not something I would connect with. Its like reading Sakura from Naruto, Ana has an inner goddess the same way Sakura had. But on the book 2, the transition of her character from I-donno-anything young girl attitude to somewhat serious woman was good. I liked it. Oh My!!

More sex and the hate

Second book was where both the characters got emotionally attached to each other. I liked the second book so much and I planned to reread it. Fifty Shades Darker is too good, I finished reading it in three days. Yah I am a slow reader. The best part about the second novel was Ana. I loved Darker Ana than Freed or the Grey. The author should’ve ended the novel with the second book.

She decided something else and as a result, the third book was a crap. I was amazed at myself when I finally completed reading it. I thought of marking the Fifty Shades of Freed as DNF in my Goodreads Shelf. I read the first 190 pages or so and stopped reading it.

I don’t even what to brag about fifty shades of freed anymore.

My Ranking would be Darker > Grey > then the fucking Freed.

By that time, 2 weeks of April had already ended. I was on my third week of April. I started thinking about my last year summer vacation and the year before and so on.


"Don't waste your energy on Guilt, Feelings of wrongdoing etc., We are consenting adults and what we do behind closed doors is between ourselves. You need to free your mind and listen to your body."
 

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Location: Bengaluru, Karnataka, India

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